zac-afron:

WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING I DON’T UNDERSTAND THIS IS THE SECOND VINE BY THIS GUY AND I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND I THINK ABOUT THIS VIDEO 25 TIMES A DAY AND I JUST DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON I AM LOSING MY MIND

(via firefoxed)


basedpidgeot:

gf: babe come over

me (a lawnmower) : no i cant im cutting the grass and you live in the sky

gf: my parents are out

me: image

(via stegosarah)


adrians:

adrians:

the best thing about having the house to myself is that I can make breakfast in my underwear

image

(via firefoxed)


caelhammer:

what if i was cool

oh wait

i am

image

(via firefoxed)


(via rustytort)


(via cumberpegg)


Q
tell us your most embarrassing story
Anonymous
A

jesusinc:

jesusinc:

So a while back i was at this party and i was the first girl to arrive and there were like 20 guys already there, we were all siting around, having a beer and whatnot when the dj arrived. So all the guys went out the front of the house to help set up the dj gear and it was just me sitting there alone in the backyard for like 5 minuets. I stood up to go follow them bc i was getting really bored when i realized something, my period had gone through my white pants and stained the while chair, i was humiliated, i had no idea what to do, i could hear the guys were coming back and i had to do something quick, time was running out. So i grabbed the chair, ran like 10 meters and threw it over the fence into the neighboring yard, i quickly walked back and tied my jacket around my waist. The guys soon returned and didn’t suspect a thing, i am amazing.

image


(via stegosarah)


robotemperor:

smell the goddamn flower you piece of shit baby chicken

(via teletubbie-custard)


naomster:

sharkchunks:

hellsquidsintl:

There was, of course, an increase in heart attacks and traffic accidents as people panicked trying to escape the ghost deer.

A significant decline in dementors as well.

swiggity swag the nightmare stag

naomster:

sharkchunks:

hellsquidsintl:

There was, of course, an increase in heart attacks and traffic accidents as people panicked trying to escape the ghost deer.

A significant decline in dementors as well.

swiggity swag the nightmare stag

(via teletubbie-custard)


stegosarah:

anepictimelord:

stegosarah:

If you ever feel like you’ve fucked up just remember that a whole TEAM of people designed this cash machine to be 15 inches off the ground and no one along the way thought ‘maybe this has a design flaw’

"Cash machine"

Yes. Here in the UK people call them cash machines, I know that’s an odd concept to get your head around but I think together we can do it

(via teletubbie-custard)


roachpatrol:

shego:

this is my kink where do I find this guy

fun fact: a few hours after posting this to my tumblr the guy sent me a message frantically demanding i take this down. he didn’t want to be famous on the internet, he said, and girls from tumblr were harassing him.
i refused.
a month later he sent me a message thanking me, and saying i got him laid.

roachpatrol:

shego:

this is my kink where do I find this guy

fun fact: a few hours after posting this to my tumblr the guy sent me a message frantically demanding i take this down. he didn’t want to be famous on the internet, he said, and girls from tumblr were harassing him.

i refused.

a month later he sent me a message thanking me, and saying i got him laid.

(via neongreengummies)


perchu:

image

surplux, biptch, you had awared the      last thought of m?

(via rouxbie)


yellfang:

party-at-the-tardis:

shavingryansprivates:

why the fuck is every nursery rhyme about people dying

  • the london bridge is falling down and probably crushing pedestrians
  • ring around the rosie pockets full of posie ashes ashes we all get obliterated by the black plague
  • it’s raining it’s pouring the old man is snoring he bumped his head and fucking died

and fucking died

humpty dumpty committed suicide

jack fell down a hill and cracked his skull

A BABY FELL OUT A TREE

(via neongreengummies)